When I was looking for ways to break out of my loneliness, I never put together a plan on how to do so. It never even crossed my mind. I can’t help but think that if I had created a strategic plan I might’ve had more success in making connections.
While I didn’t consciously have an agenda, I was consistently trying to think of things to try. At first this involved volunteering places, but they weren’t necessarily things in which I had a huge interest. I limited myself to what I thought were places I should volunteer: soup kitchens and a non-profit store that sold art from artisans in developing nations.
Later I thought about things I enjoy doing, but they were often solitary type things: six-week writing classes, stand-up comedy classes, or leading group tours. I found that many of these involved coming in, doing the activity, and leaving. While I hoped for connections through these opportunities, I didn’t find it. I also found that many of these individuals had families or lived in the suburbs (and I don’t have a car). This made it difficult to get together.
I think part of my difficulty with meeting people was not knowing myself well enough to know what I really enjoyed. But my other issue with not making the connections I desired involved the next two steps in the EASE method: Seeking Others and Expecting the Best.
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