Mental health & loneliness

In my presentation on loneliness that I give to college students, I share how throughout my darkest times there was a theme of having no one to talk to. I was on my own with handling my depression and anxiety. There was so much stigma and I felt embarrassed to bring up what I felt were weaknesses.

In the years since college I’ve learned that mental illness has this incredible ability to make us feel alone. It causes us to feel as though we’re the only one dealing with what we’re going through. It warps our sense of reality. Mental illness causes us to feel very lonely.

I already felt out of place in college. I was a punk kid at a school where most everyone was preppy. I chose my college because my sister went there and I felt scared of going to school somewhere that I didn’t know anyone. I thought a large state school would swallow me up. I worried I’d get lost there and matter even less than I felt I already did.

Music was my life at the time and it troubled me so much to realize that there wasn’t anyone else at my school who had the same deep interest in punk music as me. This already left me feeling lonely. The added burden of depression and anxiety only increased the disconnect I felt toward others.

I began to ask myself, "Why would I want to speak up about my mental health concerns if they left me feeling guilt and shame? Not to mention, how can I explain what is going on in my mind if I can’t even understand what it is? It seemed easier to not even try."

But not starting that process of speaking up on our mental health issues doesn’t help us. In fact, it only sets us back from being the happier people we want to be. (Even at my most negative and lowest points I had to admit I did want to get better. But I didn’t know how.) So we need to make those initial steps to speak about our mental health. In doing so, it enables us to not only work toward recovery, but break free of the loneliness that so often accompanies mental health issues.