As some readers may know, loneliness is a topic I'm very interested in and continue to speak and write about. For the next few entries I want to go through some basics with it.
What is loneliness? It’s interesting how in looking at the definition of loneliness at Merriam-Webster online, it gives definitions that don’t jive with mine. M-W.com defines “lonely” as: 1. a: being without company b: cut off from others 2. not frequented by human beings 3. sad from being alone 4. producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation While I don’t discount any of those definitions, the more I study loneliness, the more I begin to side with the meaning given by John Cacioppo, the late social neuroscientist. He wrote, “Loneliness is defined as a distressing feeling that accompanies the perception that one’s social needs are not being met by the quantity or especially the quality of one’s social relationships.” In other words, loneliness is what you feel when you want connections of a certain type (however that is defined by you) and you don’t have them.
4 Comments
Danielle
5/1/2018 09:46:29 am
The part about the quality of relationships really rings true to me. As a parent I am rarely alone but can still feel very lonely when I don’t have enough contact with other adults.
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Kurt
5/1/2018 08:24:52 pm
It's weird how I didn't think about the quality of relationships for a long time. I just saw numbers and thought there was something wrong with me for not having a ton of friends. I realized later that I'm the type of person who only needs a couple close friends and that was okay. It's totally about quality over quantity.
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Carolle Dubois
5/18/2018 09:29:51 pm
I admire your courage and appreciate you reaching out to people. What you're doing is so needed in today's world so please keep it up and thanks for being there.
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Kurt
5/18/2018 11:21:16 pm
Thanks Carolle! I appreciate your kind words. They mean a lot.
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This blog is an exploration of the subjects of belonging and loneliness. I also look at mental health issues. I seek to provide content to my readers that is informative and helpful. If you don't want to miss anything, sign up for my email list.
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